When the children grow up (but really still small) they move away from us physically because they go out to meet the world

friends

school

classes

here and there..

Our way of keeping them from harm is diminishing

How can they be protected anyway?

The thought of them being so exposed out there is scary

Association: an advertisement that annoyed me!

A boy who tries his luck to be accepted among his friends, and instead gets ignored and rejected

And he is in dire straits. Really heartbreaking

And this is where the sin begins in my eyes:

When his dad calls and he doesn't share it.
הוא "משחק אותה" שהכל בסדר ושהוא בטוב, למרות שחנוק מדמעות

My heart goes out of place to hug him, so that he won't feel so alone

The advertisement, whose creators are obviously full of good intentions, has a message to convey: Share!

That is, if you, the children, get into trouble - share!

Do you realize how problematic this is?

The message to the child in need is that the responsibility is his.
If he is active and works then it will be possible to help him.

And responsibility, as we know, knows how to twist and turn easily into guilt

Who among us does not know this?

As if it wasn't enough for him

A so-called educational message

What a miss really..

I mean - of course the most important thing is to share

but The real responsibility for a child to share with us begins with us

And it's in our hands!

The appeal should be to us the parents, to us the kindergarteners, and not to the children

We have to do everything for the child to share with us.

But it doesn't start in places of edge, of great distress

שם בד"כ מעורבבים גם בושה גדולה, לעיתים גם אשמה,

Hard feelings that are so hard to bear.

To bring this burden home, to share with us parents, he needs to be sure that he will be received with love.

Even if we may have failed, made a mistake, responded incorrectly

Sometimes a child thinks that they are hurting him because of him, because of the way he is, because of something he did..

at a lower volume,
Frustrations of lack of success, disappointments, feelings of rejection, of lack
Apparently they are an integral part of life

In order for him to be safe sharing great pain or hurt, he needs to receive from us the message that our heart is open and loving towards him no matter what, unconditionally.
That's how simple it is in everyday life

Not by saying

in deeds.

Not at the edges.

alive.

In a home where you are allowed to talk, a home that is a protected space where you can be weak and exposed and vulnerable.
A house that invites you to feel all the emotions,

This means that every encounter we have is an opportunity. An opportunity for a conversation, to share from the heart
It means genuine interest and listening and trusting in the good of my child. In his deep good intentions, even when things go badly for him.

Even if he's wrong, even if he didn't go well and had a bad day

I'm here to hold it with him. sometimes for him. Most of the time with him.

This is our responsibility as parents - not to leave him alone when it's difficult.
Sometimes he wants to be alone, but even then he knows we are with him

Being together and supporting does not necessarily mean an intense physical presence, it is a quality of the heart, of intentionality.

And he feels it

And I also tell him that

אני כאן איתך. אוהבת אותך ומחזיקה איתך את הדבר הזה שכבד לך""

Then little by little I can really hear my breathing coming back

Because a place has become available

A place where you can feel, you can be weak

It's not so threatening anymore, you can feel the vulnerability and then, even air it out

He is accepted and desired and loved, just as he is with everything in him

And it is reassuring and reassuring

This is how it is in everyday life

Everything has a place, even the difficult feelings of shame, disappointment, panic, failure

They are already there, that is, within us. So it's better to recognize them, and invite them for a hug,
זה "ממצב" אותנו כמנחמים האולטימטיביים

For the small things and certainly for the big things

We are the address and the answer for him to everything that goes through him

we are the house

Such a house is a protector for the heart

Contains, strengthens, heals and builds real and empowering resilience.

In prayer for great protection for all children, small and large, wherever they are.

This article is a follow-up article to Protection at an early age - an issue that tugs at the heart of every parent

About the author: